here fishy, fishy.

We have had a nice weekend.  The weather has warmed back into the 50's so we've been able to play outside again, much to Olivia's pleasure!  We spent yesterday morning at the Aquarium and Olivia loved it!  She would go up to the tanks saying "wow" over and over while signing fish back at me!  It was pretty cute.

See the big shark swimming towards the camera?  Grant was telling Olivia to watch out because it was coming to get her! ha.

the view outside the aquarium isn't too bad!

look at the frog, mommy!

Giving Baby Gillian a hug. 
Olivia LOVES this baby! She follows
her everywhere and calls her 'gigi'.

putting her to work pushing the stroller!

I'm currently watching the snow fall at the Bears game in Chicago and feeling even more thankful for our warm temperatures here in the southeast!  It looks cold up there!   Go Bears!

focused on my masterpiece.

FYI: This post was started last Thursday and just now completed; therefore the references to "today" are for then....

MOPS started again today for the new year and it was a wonderful meeting! I left feeling refreshed and inspired, which is a great combination. Our speaker was Shawn Wood who is a local pastor here in Charleston. He wrote 200 Pomegranates and and Audience of One, which you've probably never heard of. However, the message he delivers will probably hit home for a lot of you. I know it did with me.

First of all, he started out with statements like "You can be everything God created you to be" and "God created you to mother the children He gives you. He has given you everything you need to parent your children, so narrow the focus of your life and do it well!"

Okay, well now I was listening! No more gazing about the room wondering where that other mom got her boots or checking for new emails on my Blackberry; I knew this was a message my heart needed to hear.

For a little background his message revolves around 1Kings chapter 7 where King Soloman is having his palace built and Huram, a skilled craftsman in bronze, was assigned to do a lot of the work. Huram carved 200 pomegranates into the top of the palace, which was 34 feet high in the air. This was his greatest and most detailed work of the palace, yet being that high in the sky no one would be able to see it. Why would Huram do that?  Well, our lesson today was that he did his greatest work for God - his audience of one.

This is much like mothering. The world does not see the behind the scenes work it takes to raise a child - the extra hugs, the late nights, the kisses on bruised knees, the continual planning, the daily tasks of laundry and cooking, the middle of the night feedings, the time spent in prayer for your children, the silly songs you make up just for a smile, reading the same story for the 300th time, and the countless hours just being present in your child's life. Those are the things the outside world doesn't see, but God always does. He sees it all. He knows when you make the hard choice to sit and play pretend with your 2 year old rather than tackle the dirty floors and piles of laundry or go for a night out with your girlfriends. 

However it is not just that simple.  Mothers are always putting their children first, but a lot of us are just "doing mommy" over and over each day, but never really doing it all that well.  Shawn's message today was about focusing on the priorities that God lays out for us.  First, you are to be a good wife.  Second, you are to be a good mother.  And everything else then comes third.  Everything.  Including your job, your chores, being a good daughter, sister, friend, etc.  God wants us to focus on things in that order.  Wife. Mother. The rest of life.  He talked about how a mother's "art" is motherhood and their masterpieces are the children.  Olivia needs my complete focus and time because the impact she leaves on the world is everlasting. 

He said "in order to be a good mom you are going to have to give up something".  That sure resonated with me!  Things quickly started popping up in my mind of what I have "given up" since becoming a mommy.  First and foremost was my job.  True, I could have continued to work and still been a great mother, but I chose to give it up.  I chose to completely focus on being a mother (because I had that amazing choice, and I never take for granted the fact that not everyone does).  However, being able to make that choice also creates a little more pressure in my mind.  I quit my job to focus on mothering Olivia, yet I know that I am not always giving her my best.  The talk today awoke me to that fact!  I need to turn to God each and every day to ask for His help in being the mother he created me to be.  Olivia deserves that. 

Last, I really took home the point that mothering is all for God.  He is my 'audience of one' because no one sees the details in my daily life of mothering except God.  Parenting is really all about worshipping God and I need to remember that.  It is not about what other moms in my social network think or see about what I am doing - it is all for God.  He created me to be Olivia's mother and has given me the tools to do that.  Now it is up to me to trust Him (even during the hard times!) and focus on being the best mother I can be.  I want to raise her to have a happy, kind, and Jesus-loving soul and I know that God is with me on that goal.  He will help me do it if I just narrow my focus and realize where my true work each day needs to be done. 

Being a single parent over the last few weeks has definitely brought even more perspective to this topic.  I know God is with me, but is hard.  I don't have a break.  I don't have someone to "take a shift" or someone to help with the dishes or the trash.  I am Olivia's sole provider.  I need to be completely focused on her because I am all she has.  If I am more concerned with checking Facebook or planning out my grocery list than keeping an eye on her, she will suffer.  If I snap at her rather than show her patience and understanding, God will see that choice. 

God knows the choices I make and I pray that I am able to narrow my focus on motherhood and make sure that I am doing it well.  My audience of one is always watching and I know it will please Him most if I do my best work for the sake of the child(ren) he has blessed me with.

ring around the rosie.

Enjoy some cuteness from today!  Please excuse my singing voice.  It is terrible on a good day, and add in a cold and what you have is something I'm sorry you have to hear!

Ring around the rosie from Stephanie Allen on Vimeo.

"bay-beee"



taking baby on a stroll....
with her backpack of supplies, too!

 Olivia has been completely into her baby dolls the last few days!  It is so adorable. 

Both last night and tonight I took a look at the monitor after I came downstairs from tucking her in and I witnessed the sweetest thing.  She had crawled to the other end of the crib and was tucking her baby in!  She spent about 3-5 minutes both nights adjusting multiple blankets around her baby and patting her on the head and belly.  When she felt satisfied that Baby was all tucked in she then went back to the end of the crib she likes to sleep at and laid down to go to sleep!  ha.  It was just so precious. 

holding her freshly swaddled baby while watching a show

During the day a lot of her play is centered around Baby - asking for me to change her clothes, putting her in and out of her high chair, wrapping baby up on blankets, feeding her, kissing her, pushing her in the stroller and shopping cart, and just carrying her around.  I'm not sure where this love for Baby came from because we have never pushed it on her, but she sure does love to play "mother".  I pray that we are raising a girl with a sweet soul and from the looks of it she is off to a great start!


when she can't go outside, she pushes her all around the house.

Also, she was so passionate about eating her spaghetti at dinner last night that I had to take a video!  Keep in mind, this was her second helping so she wasn't starving or anything!  You will see that I keep asking her what she's eating to get her to talk, but she is so focused she doesn't make a sound!

Dinner with Olivia from Stephanie Allen on Vimeo.

a year for new beginnings!

2011 is off and running!  I have finally caught up on the sleep I lost staying up late the last few nights of 2010.  Olivia and I moved in with the Liegl's (the same house she had vacationed at while we were in Jamaica) because our dear friends, the Steinforts, were visiting from California.  The six of us (well we  used to be six, now we are 11 with all of the children;) were the best of friends over the first five years of living here in Charleston.  The Steinforts moved to California last January and we miss them terribly.  They come visit quite often, but its just not the same.  With Andy being gone, I decided it would be less driving back and forth and more fun if Olivia and I just moved in for the duration of their visit.  That made 5 kids 4 and under and 6 adults (the Liegl's have an Au pair that lives there, too) all under one roof.  It got a bit crazy, but was so much fun! 

We bought the big kids capes for Christmas.
They are a big hit!

Auntie Em helps the kids make a gingerbread house.
It was actually for the men to blow up with fireworks
on NYE, but they didn't know any different ;)

We picnicked at Waterfront Park one afternoon. Olivia wanted
in the water pretty badly! ha.

Olivia latched on to Auntie Em all
week!  It was cute.

I think O looks so grown up in this one!

Olivia sitting at the counter with the big kids! (Blackberry photo)

We rang in the new year on a dinner cruise.  The food and the company were good, but the party atmosphere left a lot to be desired in my opinion  I felt like we were tied to our chairs for the four course meal that last nearly till midnight.  By that time, we rang in the new year and had about 20 minutes left to move about and dance before we had to get off the boat.  Good times, but not something I will pay to do again. 

This new year will bring lots of changes for our house.  Actually, it will literally bring a change of houses!  haha....corny, sorry ;)  We will be moving sometime this summer and that is change enough in itself.  I knew the time was coming, but its hard to imagine it actually happening.  More on that in the coming months, I'm sure.
My new years resolutions include:
1. Start to recycle - there is no curb side recycling where we live and I've been lazy and not wanted to drive it to the collection center.  However, that stops in 2011! I vow to set a good example for Baby Girl on how important it is to take care of our planet.
2. Not stress about moving; leave the uncertainty in God's hands. - easier said than done since I am such a big planner, but I know that it is not my job to worry.  I must just go with the flow.
3. Be more diligent with couponing - I like to extreme coupon, but some weeks I am lazy and just go get what I want.  I am going to try and be more disciplined.
4. Spend more time in prayer and reading scripture - this is a change that I have been working on in the end of 2010, but I need to learn God's word in a desperate way, so my goal in 2011 is to be focused on it!

What are your resolutions? 
p.s. I have some cuteness from today that I will post (Olivia was way into her baby doll all day long) but my computer time needs to be done for the day.  I will never get to my resolutions if I spend all my spare time blogging at night!  Till next time.....

a vacation for mommy and daddy.

Jamaica was fabulous!  We spent five nights here in Negril.  It was the trip of a lifetime!  Our villa had its own bartender and chef available from morning till night!  Anything you asked for, they provided!  We ate more lobster on this trip than I ever have in my life!  We would wake up and roll out of bed to a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, hash browns, fresh fruit, bacon, sausage, and mimosas every single morning!  Well, we did switch up for french toast a morning or two ;)  We ate and drank our way through the week and it was exactly what we needed.  I told Andy I think I was making up for 18 months of lost sleep because I slept most days away at the beach.

Leaving Olivia was traumatic.  Actually, the actual leaving was not bad because I had agonized over it for weeks prior so by the time we left her I had pretty much dealt with the range of emotions that came my way.  I had many concerns - I worried she would be in poor spirits and difficult for our friends to manage, I worried she would cry herself to sleep every night, I worried she would wake up a lot through the nights and stress my girlfriend out, I was worried she would cry for 'mama' a lot, I was worried that I would be so preoccupied with missing her that I would not have fun!

Let me just say that none of those things happened!  Olivia was a perfect angel; she ate, she slept, she played, she obeyed, she rarely cried for 'mama', and our friends genuinely enjoyed having her with them (even though it meant 4 kids in their house 4 and under! yikes!).  My girlfriend said she was pretty quiet the first few days, but she never protested to anything.  She fell right in line and loved playing with the baby and following the big kids around.  We already spend a lot of time at their house, but we did naps and an overnight stay (where Andy & I stayed too) in the weeks leading up to our trip to help acclimate Olivia to their house.  It all must have worked because she had a great time on her "vacation"!

I, too, was able to completely enjoy myself!  I thought and talked about her everyday, but I was never preoccupied with how she was or the fact that I was missing her.  In reality, I enjoyed the break and the time alone with Andy!  The one great thing that helped was to get a daily email from my girlfriend where she gave me a quick recap of their day.  It was nice to know what Olivia was up to.  However, there were never any phone calls or Skype calls while we were gone.  We thought it was best to just make a clean break and enjoy our vacation.  My advice to any mother/father/couple/parent that is contemplating a trip away from the children is GO!!  It will renew your energy and your marriage in ways that you didn't even think about.  Your baby will be fine (even if you agonize for weeks that he/she won't be like I did!).

Only a best friend would loan
me her fuzzy leg warmers!
They are a huge trend in Taiwan
where she lives!

It took my best friend from all the way back to kindergarten getting married to give me the courage to leave our baby behind, but it was one of the best decisions I've ever made, so go for it!  Your soul needs this! Parenting is hard work so take a break and make that hard decision to go on a quick getaway with your spouse...you won't be sorry!


The trip was filled with so many wonderful moments...

Welcome to Jamaica mon!



Spirit Toes!!  We are SO happy to be here!

 

Relaxed toes....I think I'll take another nap.



Andy getting some much needed rest



we may have done a little drinking too...

A Kodak moment at the Rehearsal dinner

The silly bride and her soon to be husband!

Mimosas for breakfast?!  Luetta was sure a fan!

A special moment between sisters

A proud dad walks his youngest down the aisle!

The big moment!  Look at the beautiful sky behind them...
made me wonder if we should have been married on the beach!

I love him.

Friends from high school and college that were there.

The view from our room!  I would go straight out
to the balcony every morning!

we had a hot tub on our
balcony too!

and a swing.  Both got lots
of use!

the big tree right out from our villa

feeling the love!

What an amazing trip!  I highly recommend both Negril and Moon Dance Villas where we stayed.  Both are top notch and won't disappoint!

17 & 18 month update

We left for Jamaica the day after Baby Girl turned 18 months and I never got a post written about her seventeenth month.  And now we are half-way to her turning 19 months, so I decided to just post a few facts on what she is like right now.  Perhaps the new year will calm down a bit and I can get back to documenting her development better.

At her 18 month well-visit:
Weight: 27 lbs (75th percentile)
Height: 34 inches (still off the chart)

Fun Facts:
-her favorite toys right now are her baby doll, balls, and building with blocks
-her favorite books are Goodnight Sweet Pig and any lift the flap book
-we have been told "she eats like a man" and "is a bottomless pit" in regards to her eating ;)
-she is big into imitation for anything I am doing
-is starting to become very independent and wanting to do things herself or "her way"
-has suddenly become interested in Baby Einstein movies again, as long as they have animals in them.  She sits there the entire movie saying the sound for each animal that comes onto the screen!
-favorite foods are blueberries, grapes, bread, cheese, crackers, and pasta dishes
-jumps her way through a lot of the day (whether just on the ground or on our bed)
-has started to run most all places she goes
-still likes Baby Elmo
-showing early signs of potty training by holding her diaper and fussing when she goes to the bathroom
-has gotten two more bottom teeth (a total of 4 now!) and the doctor said her top molars are coming through, but she won't let me see - that makes her teeth total 8
-sleeps 11-12 hours at night with one nap during the day that lasts anywhere from 1.5-3 hours.

Enjoy two videos taken one of the few days between Jamaica and Christmas.

Dancing girl from Stephanie Allen on Vimeo.



Playing ball with Daddy from Stephanie Allen on Vimeo.