I then clicked on this link. Go ahead and click on it. If you don't my
I was totally prepared to read all of the reader comments that said things like "church is a place for quiet prayer" or "the nursery is there for a reason" or "you should definitely remove your loud toddler from the service". However, much to my shock nearly ALL of the responses agreed with her (that she should keep her "loud and disruptive" toddler in the pew with her!). I was shocked.
We always take Olivia to the nursery on Sundays. Sure, sometimes she screams and cries when we leave her, but she is much happier playing there than having to sit quietly (yeah right) next to me for an hour. Everything in life is a season and I very much look forward to the day where she will share in the sermon and worship service with us; however, this is not her time! She would not get anything from the service, and honestly, neither would I if she were next to me. In fact, I enjoy that time away from her. I like to pray/meditate without a toddler pulling on my shirt or having to keep one eye open so I can catch the next toy she is about to drop.
One response mentioned wanting to expose their children to God's love and that she thinks that her toddler needs to be at the service with her to do that. Well, here's an idea....how about Bible story time at home? Sing kid-friendly Christian songs? Read to your children from the Bible? Board books that tell of Bible stories? Expose your child in ways they can handle at this age (ie., short little snippets throughout their day). Olivia has only been with us in church a handful of times (except for when she was a sweet, sleeping, and quiet newborn;) and I can tell you that she still knows about Jesus' love. She tries to recite Bible verses with me and carries her Bible to me and asks me to read. She sings along when we sing 'Jesus Loves Me'. She points to the sky when I ask her where Jesus is. That to me is proof that she is not suffering on learning about Jesus just because she is in the nursery. I am doing my best to teach her about God's love just as I am commanded (Deuteronomy 6:4-12, specifically verses 6 & 7); however she is not in the pew being "loud and disruptive" during church. (can I get an Amen?! ;)
Thoughts? I am very interested in this since (from my Internet reading today) I seem to be in the major minority.
5 comments:
Obviously we don't have kids yet, but this is something I feel pretty strongly about. Loud children (even if they're happy-loud and not angry-loud) are a HUGE distraction during a church service. Even if the parents think they can pay attention to both the child and the service, that's not the case for everyone. And people without kids are less adept at tuning them out. Plus, older people in the service may have issues with hearing in general and if there is a noisy child nearby may not be able to hear the service at all.
Our church has a similar room in the back, and announces the dismissal of children near the end of the song service when everyone stands up and greets each other. I think that's a pretty good compromise. And also proves to me that I would be very distracted by even a quiet baby/toddler in church because there are these 2 cute little toddler boys that sit in front of us and during the song service I constantly wave, smile, make faces, and play peek-a-boo with them while singing. And I know it wouldn't stop during the service if they were still there looking back at me. :o)
So, I agree with you and always appreciate parents who respect the people around them enough to remove noisy children so we can all focus on the message.
Amen! ;) I completely agree. Not having children of my own, I'm not sure how much I am allowed to comment on this subject :), but I do plan to do the same thing you are doing when that day comes! I don't think a toddler gets anything out of a regular church service at this age. On the contrary, and I CAN speak as a former church nursery attendant :), they thrive in the nursery environment where they have their own "fellowship", learning about God there and from their parents at home.
Wow, I can understand your frustration with those comments! It seems like a lot of those commenters are Catholic or something similar, so maybe that has something to do with their beliefs about keeping children in church. I don't know what kind of church you guys go to, but at our Baptist church, there is not a single child that stays in the service. All the children stay through the first hymn, then they have their children's sermon (which is always funny and so cute), then they follow the Children's Minister out of the sanctuary and have children's church for the rest of the service. And we have a nursery for the toddlers and babies. I don't understand what those commenters think their 20-month-olds are getting out of a traditional church service. Wouldn't they get more out of learning in an environment that is more age-appropriate? Not to mention being sensitive to those around you who are trying to concentrate on the sermon without distractions. I don't even have kids and it's making me angry! lol Keep doing what you're doing! You know what's best for Olivia.
AMEN! As a non-mother, I do appreciate the parents that will take children to the nursery or cry room. :o) I am easily distracted so I know the parents are if their children are simply bored. And I agree that a toddler in a preaching service (we call is "big church") is probably not getting too much out of it...especially between the "SHHH!s". ;o)
I agree sister! My church time is a time for me to re-connect and re-energize myself with and through God, so that I can go another week and handle being a Mom, wife, friend, and Christian! The few times that the kids are with us, I get nothing from it and don't understand those who think they should sit through it. From a developmental perspective, it's not appropriate at all to make toddler and even young children sit quietly for an hour, and I have said that for years!
Interesting reading to say the least!
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